Tips for Dealing With an Autism Diagnosis

An autism diagnosis is a severe blow for most parents going down the neurodiversity path. For my spouse and I it was a relief as we felt that now we had some direction on why our son was having so many challenges in his young life. Autism is a steep learning curve and takes a lot of time, a lot of energy, and so much patience! Many times trial and error is the way you find out what works for your child, only to find out the next day it is different! 

Build a Support System

It’s very easy to get wrapped up into the autism world and become the sole organizer and planner as you only want the best for your child and for them to succeed! Parents must ensure they have a great support system and make time for themselves. This could look like alone time, quiet time, adult time, or just autism free time! Your brain and body need to recharge and breathe. So whatever that looks like - a breath, a sip of your favorite tea, a quick 5-minute shower, or an hour away, alone doing something rejuvenating - schedule some time in your day! Some days you might get a long break and some days it might be impossible to get more than three minutes alone in the bathroom.

Establishing a support system with family and friends and your community can also help. We were far from family and many of our “friends” disappeared after the diagnosis. We paid for support as much as we could budget to establish learning time for our son and breaks for us and our neurotypical children. Mostly, it was just myself and my spouse parenting and supporting each other. Sometimes we split the children and completed different activities with each one so everyone could have a break. Since our son with autism had the energy of 10 children, he needed more outside running time than the other 4. So one of us would have to go to the park for the third time that day, or bike ride at night in the fall or take him swimming just to tire him out so he would go to sleep.

Managing the Effects of Autism

In a way, he was so connected with his body he could hear, see, and feel everything. All this input was overwhelming to his body and brain and could lead to meltdowns. We learned to anticipate how much of an activity would be acceptable before the meltdown occurred. Similar to connecting with our bodies and being aware of our metaphorical yellow and red lights, we had to anticipate when an activity or movement was too much for our son. If we go past our "red lights" we know that we will be sore and stiff and have trouble moving our body. If we pushed past his '"red lights", it turned into a meltdown and we were running home with a very unhappy, overstimulated, non-communicative, combative child.

So much of being a parent of a child with autism is being intuitive and thinking ahead and planning what may or may not be challenging for your child. With our bodies, it is not much different. We can look ahead and see what positions or activities may be challenging and make a plan on what to do to prepare before, during and after.

Autism does not have to be an isolating and fearful path, though it is a challenging path and a different path. Embrace and celebrate the small wins along the journey and just love your child as they are.